The term “demisexual” is beginning to emerge more within the LGBTQ community and different discourses about gender. This sexual orientation describes people who do not experience sexual attraction unless they have a strong emotional connection with another individual. While the concepts of bisexuality and homosexuality have been explored in some depth, demisexuality is still quite new. 

As such, there are many misconceptions surrounding this orientation and people often misunderstand or struggle to wrap their heads around what exactly a demisexual is. To help shed some light on the subject, here are some important facts about demisexuality.

What is Demisexuality?

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation where a person does not feel sexually attracted to someone unless there is a strong emotional bond present. This bond can develop over the course of a friendship or any sort of relationship, but must be established first before any sexual feelings may surface. Demisexuals usually take a while to become aroused and attracted to someone, but once that bond is established, their sexual relationships tend to be very deep and meaningful.

When Did the Term “Demisexual” First Appear?

The term “demisexuality” was first coined in 2006 on the social networking site “LiveJournal”. Someone had posted a discussion topic on the website asking if there was a name to describe someone who only felt sexual attraction after developing a strong emotional bond. The term was widely accepted by the community and it soon began to spread, being picked up by websites such as “Asexual Visibility and Education Network” (AVEN).

How is Demisexuality Different From Bisexuality and Homosexuality?

Bisexuality and homosexuality are orientations in which a person feels sexual attraction towards people of the same gender or different genders. Demisexuality, on the other hand, is an orientation where a person may experience sexual attraction but only after forming a strong emotional connection with the individual.

Are There Subcategories of Demisexuality?

There are several subcategories of demisexuality that are used to describe a person’s individual experience. These include:

Gray-A: This is a term to describe someone who does not experience sexual attraction, but is open to the possibility of it.

Gray-Demisexual: This term is used to describe someone who experiences a low level of sexual attraction, but only when there is an emotional bond.

Demiromantic: This term is used to describe someone who does not experience romantic attraction until they have developed a strong emotional connection with someone.

Fraysexual: This term is used to describe someone who experiences a fluctuating level of sexual attraction, depending on the emotional bond they have with someone.

Are There Different Levels of Attraction?

Yes, there are different levels of attraction when it comes to demisexuality. Some people are more strongly attracted to someone that they have formed an emotional connection with, while others may experience a more casual attraction. It all depends on the individual.

What is the Relationship Between Demisexuality and Asexuality Like?

While demisexuality and asexuality are both sexual orientations, they are quite different. Asexuality is defined as a person who does not experience any sexual attraction or desire at all. Demisexuality, on the other hand, is when a person does not experience sexual attraction unless there is an emotional bond present. In this way, demisexuality and asexuality overlap, but they are not the same.

How Do I Know If I am Demisexual?

The best way to understand if you are demisexual is to examine your own experience and to think about how you respond to different relationships. Do you have any sort of attractions to people you have an emotional bond with? Do you feel a connection before you feel a physical attraction to someone? If so, you might be demisexual. It is important to remember that everyone’s experience is different and you don’t need to put a label on yourself if you don’t want to.

Understanding demisexuality can be a process of exploration, understanding, and growth. It is important to remember that everyone’s experience is different, so there is no ‘one size fits all’ answer. However, understanding more about the orientation can help to shed some light on the subject and make it easier for people to find a group of people who understand and accept them for who they are.