No two relationships are ever the same, as each couple has their own unique dynamic. However, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t certain relationship pet peeves all couples can agree on. Whether it’s accidentally leaving the toilet seat up or tracking dirt into the living room from their shoes, relationship pet peeves can be small and irritating or downright infuriating. Everyone has their pet peeves, and these minor grievances can be the quintessential relationship deal breakers if the issues are not addressed properly.
In this article, we’ll be taking a look at some of the most common relationship pet peeves couples quarrel about and how to better address these issues to improve your relationship. It’s important to remember that working through conflicts with grace and understanding is the key to a healthy and happy relationship!
What are Pet Peeves?
Little pet peeves can have a major impact on our day-to-day lives. Pet peeves are irritating behaviours or habits our partner or someone close to us consistently engage in that drive us nuts. These little grievances can range from the annoyingly simple, like your partner always biting their nails, to the more infuriating, such as being dishonest and disrespectful. Sometimes, pet peeves can be so small and insignificant that you may not even realise you’re having an issue with it until it builds up and suddenly overflows.
Regardless, when these pet peeves start to pile on, our patience and understanding also start to dissipate. If left unchecked and unresolved, these issues can easily snowball into something major and ruin your connection with your partner.
Common Relationship Pet Peeves
Disrespecting Your Partner
Disrespecting your partner, whether it be verbal, emotional, or even physical, is a huge red flag that can cause a lot of issues in relationships. This pet peeve does not exclude trivial teasing or ‘harmless’ jokes – these types of behaviours can be passive aggressive in nature and creates a toxic environment in a relationship. Instead, it’s important to show respect to each other and try to talk through your disagreements in a civilised and understanding manner.
Being Abrupt or Unresponsive
Having a conversation is a two-way street, and being abrupt or unresponsive can be extremely frustrating for your partner. Maybe your partner is venting about their day at work and you wordlessly scroll through your phone, or you suddenly change the subject without finishing the conversation – these subtle behaviours can signify that you’re not taking your partner seriously.
Not Putting Effort into the Relationship
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you immediately forfeit any effort you could be putting into the relationship. Relationships are an investment, and without continual effort and attention, investments of any kind can quickly fall apart.
It’s important to take time out of your individual schedules to nurture the relationship and make time for your partner. This could be as simple as preparing a home-cooked meal together or going for a relaxing walk in the park. Simple acts of kindness and heartfelt gestures go a long way when it comes to relationships.
- Not Being Compassionate
Arguing and fights are a common part of any relationship, however, it’s important to be compassionate throughout the entire process of working out your issues as a couple.
It’s important to note that no one is always going to be right and wrong – arguments usually involve two people arguing from two different perspectives and with different points of views. As such, it’s important to take a step back and try to understand your partner’s view and empathise with their emotions before passing judgment.
- Constantly Checking Your Phone
Using your phone while in the presence of your partner can be a major point of contention in any relationship. With the convenience of smartphones, we’re all practically glued to our screens during most of the day.
When you’re out and about or at home with your partner, try to pay more attention to the moment at hand and resist the urge to always have your nose in your phone. Seeing your partner giving more attention to his or her phone than to you can be very hurtful and sends the wrong message. The same goes if the roles are reversed – set your phone aside and focus on the present moment, not whatever notifications may be coming in.
How to Address and Resolve Pet Peeves in a Relationship
When it comes to pet peeves, it’s important to realise that although these issues can often seem minuscule, they can actually cause a lot of tension and clutter in your relationship. That being said, there are several ways to address and resolve pet peeves in a relationship to help minimise your conflicts with your partner:
Talk to Each Other
Communication is key in any relationship, and it’s the best and most effective way to address your pet peeve issues. When it comes time to discuss your grievances, don’t go into the conversation guns blazing – talk to your partner in a calm and diplomatic manner and try to explain why the issue is bothering you. Listening to each other and understanding why the issue is being seen as a pet peeve are essential steps in resolving any conflict.
In some cases, it may not be possible to totally eradicate the issue altogether. In such cases, it’s important to be willing to come to a compromise with your partner. Compromising with your pet peeves can help keep peace in the relationship, and by understanding one another’s differences and coming to an agreement together, you can both focus on the things that matter more and make your relationship stronger.
Finally, it’s important to set boundaries when it comes to how you handle pet peeves in a relationship. Know when you can take behaviour lightly, and when it’s absolutely necessary to stop it to protect your relationship. Additionally, agree upon a common language of expression and respect between the two of you so that in the moments of an argument, you both understand what is acceptable behaviour and respect the boundaries you have set.
Pet peeves can become a major source of discontentment in our relationships if left unresolved. Luckily, this doesn’t have to be the case. With the proper communication and effort, pet peeves can be addressed and even prevented from compounding into a bigger problem.
Remember to place greater importance on your connection and to view each other’s frustrations with more understanding and kindness. This can help ensure that your relationship remains healthy and strong in the face of even the most troublesome pet peeves.