Judging people is an inescapable part of human nature. Although most of us try to be fair and unbiased, it’s easy to form snap judgements or over-generalize certain groups of people or situations. Unfortunately, being too judgmental can often lead to harsh criticism and hurt feelings. If you think that you are often too quick to pass judgement, you may want to consider the following as some signs that you might have a tendency to be overly judgmental.
Becoming defensive when someone else’s opinion differs from your own
One of the telltale signs of a judgy person is immediately becoming defensive when someone else expresses a differing opinion. This can be in the form of correcting them to fit your own worldview, or writing them off as incompetent because their ideas don’t align with yours. A more balanced person is open to listening to different perspectives and understanding why someone might have a different point of view.
Assuming the worst of people
It’s natural to have certain assumptions about people based on their professions or backgrounds. However, you may have a judgmental streak if you’re always assuming the worst of people before you even get to know them. You might even go as far as judging their intentions and dismissing them before they can prove themselves, or pigeonhole potential friends based on your initial assumptions.
Being critical of others even when they don’t ask for your opinion
Sure, there may be times when someone genuinely asks for your opinion on a certain topic and you provide an honest answer. However, if you find yourself butting in and offering unsolicited advice without being asked, then you might be heading into overly-judgmental territory. Being opinionated is okay, but it’s best to offer helpful advice only if it’s actually asked for.
Judging others based on what you perceive as their shortcomings
Everyone has flaws, and it’s natural to focus on these flaws in other people. However, many people with a judgmental streak focus too much on other people’s shortcomings – whether it’s physical attributes, professional accomplishments, or anything in between. The main issue is not being able to look past these deficits and getting hung up on the fact that they don’t fit your exact idea of perfection.
Making snap judgements or generalizations
Judging someone or something based on quick judgements can be the root of most criticism. Being overly judgmental involves forming an opinion about someone or something only based on surface-level information or a single instance. Making quick judgements and generalizations can lead to limited or biased views, making it often difficult to reach a fair or accurate conclusion.
Being overly optimistic about people you agree with
Sometimes judgemental people also talk themselves into believing that people they agree with are perfect and never make mistakes. This often happens to those who tend to judge harshly, as they are more likely to be overly optimistic about those who share their views and less likely to be forgiving when someone else has to diverge from them.
Micro-scrutinizing someone’s figures, opinions, and facts
When the focus of a person’s criticism is on something that is not really of importance, like the way someone spoke or someone’s typos, it is a sign that they are being too judgemental. Being overly critical of mistakes or misspoken words is a common trait among judgemental people as they focus on minutia and overlook the bigger picture.
Writing off people who don’t meet certain standards or criteria
Having high standards of friends or partners is normal, but forming overly strict or unrealistic criteria to judge potential friends or romantic partners is a sign of a judgemental personality. This often involves having a long list of attributes that someone must have before you give them a chance, which can lead to forming false conclusions about people or writing them off before you even get to know them.
Viewing people as either complete successes or absolute failures
A judgemental person often views the world as black and white, viewing people as either complete successes or absolute failures. This all-or-nothing way of thinking ignores the fact that every situation is unique and people rarely fit into two neat boxes. This mode of thinking often leads to harsh and unhelpful advice and criticism, even to those who simply need a bit of reassurance.
Although it’s completely natural to form opinions about people and situations, it’s important to take a step back and look at the full picture before making assumptions or being overly critical. Although judgement may be unavoidable, it’s possible to be aware of your own judgemental tendencies, allowing you to be more open and accepting of others. Being aware of the signs that you have a tendency to be overly judgemental can help you re-evaluate your own behaviour, and ultimately become more understanding and tolerant of others.
