If you’ve ever gone on a first date, you know the feeling: excited to meet someone new but also a little unsure how things will go or what to do afterward. One of the most common questions after a first date is when to text. To answer this question, we’ve gathered advice from relationship experts to understand the best way to follow-up after a great night.
The Pros and Cons of Texting After a First Date
Texting after a first date can be a nerve-wracking experience, as it can determine how interested the other person is in taking things to the next level. Relationships are built slowly, through communication and shared experiences, so texting after that very first encounter can set the tone for the entire budding relationship. Here are a few of the pros and cons to consider before sending that first after-date text.
Pros
● Texting shows that you care. A quick text with a smiley face or a simple “had a great time tonight” shows that the other person is on your mind and you have the intention of seeing them again.
● It can be a great conversation starter. Texting allows you to keep the dialogue going, even if it was a quiet night.
● Connect with your date in a unique way. Texting might be best for light banter, while a phone call is better suited for something more substantial.
Cons
● You don’t want to appear too eager. Of course, it’s great to show interest but you don’t want to come off as desperate by texting right away.
● Keep it casual. Don’t text something you would never say face to face. Your text should mirror how you spoke on your date.
For best results, what should you consider before texting after the first date?
The timing and content of your text after the first date should be based on the context of the meeting. Here are a few things to consider before hitting “Send”:
● How well did you click? Did you have a lot in common and feel like you could have continued talking for hours? Or was there something about your conversation that didn’t quite click?
● How long did you talk? If the date went on for hours, a text right away shows a lot of enthusiasm. If it was shorter, wait a little while and see how your date is feeling.
● What did you talk about? Depending on the discussion, a text can convey that interest or boredom. Was the conversation more serious or laid-back?
When Should You Text After a First Date? The Best Practices
Now that you’ve considered the context of your meeting and the pros and cons to texting after a first date, here are the best practices for when and how to send a follow-up text.
When to Send a Text
If the conversation on your date went well, it’s recommended to send a text the same day, either within just a few hours or the following day. If it wasn’t the best, wait a few days and let you and your date process the night and come to peace with the situation before messaging.
What to Text
The content of your text should be based on the conversation you had. An easy follow-up can be “I had a great time, thank you!” or if the date was more laid-back, something like “I had fun getting to know you last night.”
When to Call
If the date felt like it went well and you’d like to take it a step further, a phone call is appropriate. Reach out 24-36 hours after your date and see if your date is available for a conversation over the phone. This shows that you have serious interest in getting to know that person and you’re willing to take the relationship to the next level.
How to Gauge Interest
Is one of your biggest questions after the first date if the other person is interested? Texting can be a great way to assess if the person felt the same way. If your text was met with enthusiasm and followed up with another text shortly after, this is a clear indication of interest. If your text was met with silence or a one-line response, try not to take it personally and don’t reach out again.
The Etiquette of Texting After a First Date
No one wants to feel desperate after a date, so make sure your text is thoughtful and appropriate in order to not seem too eager. Here are a few things to keep in mind when deciding a timeframe and message to text.
● Don’t assume they feel the same way. Keep in mind that the night may have not gone as well as you thought it did (even if it felt great).
● Avoid talking about sex. Don’t assume that the date will continue into a physical relationship. Keep the conversation light and casual.
● Don’t drag out the conversation. If you’ve kept things light and positive, there’s no need to disappear for days at a time.
● Don’t text too frequently. Show your interest without seeming like you’re accompanying them 24/7.
Texting after a first date can be a great way to keep the conversation going, show your interest, and determine if you have a connection with the other person. To make sure your follow-up is prompt but not too eager, keep your text to one sentence and timing to the same day or day following. Gauge your date’s interest and make sure your text is appropriate in order to not be too forward. Keep a few pros and cons in mind while assessing what your date may want, then send that text with confidence to keep your relationship on the right track!
