From time to time, we all may dwell a bit on past relationships. But for some, those thoughts or feelings linger on longer than we’d like them to. It can be especially concerning when a current partner seems to be dwelling on their ex. You might find yourself worrying, “Is my partner still stuck on their ex?” If you can relate, these are some telltale signs that your partner may not be over their ex.
They Bring Up Their Ex Unprompted
One major sign is if your partner actively and unprompted brings up their ex in conversation. This could be a loaded comment that they may not realize they’re making or it could just be talk in general. Either way, the fact that the ex is coming up in the conversation speaks volumes. People can’t help but talk about the things they’re thinking about, and if the ex is coming up, that is likely the very first place their thoughts go to.
They Compete With Their Ex
People who are not totally over their ex may also try to outdo them, and this is especially true in relationships where you may have met through an ex. Even though the relationships may no longer be concurrent, people in this situation may still feel a sense of competition with an ex, as if they must always be better than the one before. If you start noticing your partner has a sense of competition, this is an obvious sign that your partner is not over their ex.
They Ask After the Ex
Another very obvious sign that your partner is thinking about their ex and possibly still has some leftover feeling is when they are genuinely interested in how they’re doing. Asking after an ex-partner seems very innocent, but can have deeper implications. It could be that your partner is still connected to their ex in some way. It could even be as simple as them wanting to know how the ex is doing in comparison to how your partner is doing.
They Get Defensive When You Ask About the Ex
Another sign your partner might not be over their ex is when a conversation about their ex makes them defensive. This could be in response to you asking about their ex in a subtle or direct manner. If a conversation about their ex brings out any negative feelings, or if you feel the conversation is clashing with yours, this could be a sign that your partner still harbors some feelings for their ex.
They Keep Pictures of Their ex Around
Perhaps one of the most obvious signs that your partner is still thinking about their ex is if they still keep pictures of them around. This could be in their wallet, on their laptop, or displayed in their home. For many couples, this might be the first step they take in attempting to move on. If they have yet to do this, then this could be an indication that they have yet to fully let go of their ex.
They Refuse to Talk About It
If your partner becomes defensive or uncooperative when you bring up their ex, this is usually a sign that something is not quite right. Maybe your partner is not totally ready to talk about their ex or admit that they still have feelings for them. Regardless, if your partner refuses to talk through it or seems to gloss over the topic, then this could be a sign that something is still there.
They Claim Their Ex Was Perfect
Do you notice your partner consistently puts their ex on a pedestal? This could be their way of romanticizing the relationship and ultimately their ex. This does not mean that your partner is longing for them, but it could be their way of avoiding the reality of the situation. They may find it easier to say that the ex was perfect instead of admitting that things ended poorly or simply just moved on.
Their Social Media Presence Is Full of Their Ex
Their social media presence can be an indicator of how they feel about their ex. If you notice their post are constantly centered around them and their ex, this could be their way of living in two worlds at once – the present and the past. They may be having difficulty accepting that the relationship is no longer, so instead, they overexpose it on social media.
They Compare You to the Ex
This is a huge red flag. If your partner is mentioning their ex in comparison to you, this is a clear sign that they may still be dwelling on the relationship and you’re no more than a substitute. Oftentimes, they might even try to recreate aspects of the relationship they shared with their ex – and that could very well be the source of your friction.
If your partner is still thinking of their ex, you should communicate your concern to them and talk through it. After all, there is no sense in brooding on a relationship that ended many moons ago. Your partner needs to be able to move on, and the best way for that to happen is for them to accept the past and look forward to the future.
