Relationships can be complicated. They can make us feel deeply connected to another person and can be emotionally tumultuous. One of the hardest things to grapple with is knowing when the relationship isn’t going to last, so if you’re reading this, you probably suspect that your relationship isn’t on solid footing.
Relationship experts have spent their careers trying to help people determine if their relationships are on the rocks. Here we’ll decode some of the main warning signs that experts have identified and help you determine if it’s time for a change in your relationship status.
What the Experts Say about Knowing Whether Your Relationship Is Over
It’s hard to objectively assess a relationship. We have a natural tendency to be loyal to our partner and can be too trusting of them, making it difficult to draw a line in the sand and make a firm decision.
That’s why relationship experts are such a valuable resource — with their decades of experience helping couples work through their troubles and reignite their spark or make the decision to move on, they just may be able to provide the objectivity that you’re lacking right now. And luckily, experts have noticed a number of signs that indicate a relationship’s unraveling.
Signs That Your Relationship Is Over
Experts have identified a few key signs that can suggest that a relationship is on its last legs.
- An overall lack of emotion
When use to have a spark in your relationship, but now it seems completely dead, it could be a symptom of something more intricate than the typical ebb and flow of a long-term relationship. If there’s an overall lack of emotion between the two of you, something’s wrong.
- Minimal physical affection
Physical affection can be just as important as emotional closeness in a relationship. If there’s been a drastic drop-off in the amount of hugs, kisses, and physical touch in general between you and your partner, that’s another potential sign that your relationship may be ending. In a healthy couple, physical expressions of love such as hand-holding and hugs are a normal part of the everyday.
- You don’t communicate whatever is bothering you
When the important issues in your relationship come up, do you find yourself avoiding conversations and altogether avoiding your partner? If so, it could be a sign that there’s very little emotional connection left, or that the gap between you is too wide to bridge.
- You start to distance yourself
If you feel like your relationship is in trouble, do you find yourself pulling away from your partner more and more? If you’re no longer looking for the same contact and support you used to and are spending more time alone than with your partner, it could be a sign that you’re actively trying to push them away.
- You have more bad days than good
If the good times in your relationship have greatly outweighed the bad days, it’s always been a positive sign. But if you’ve found yourself feeling more distance and hurt more days than not, it could be that the negative energy in the relationship has started to eclipse the positive.
- You think about life without them
Do you find yourself daydreaming or day-nightmaring about what life would be like without your partner? It could be a sign that, despite your love for them, you’re no longer seeing a future with them in it.
- You’re not angry but more indifferent
When there’s a breakdown in communication, it can lead to intense fighting. If you find yourself not responding to your partner emotionally, instead feeling blank and afraid to say anything for fear of it getting twisted around and turned back on you, this could be a severe sign of disconnection.
Determining What to Do
Now that you understand what to look for in a deteriorating relationship, it’s time to determine whether to move on or not. Creating a relationship “post-mortem” can help you assess what’s going on and figure out how to move forward.
- Assess the entire picture
It’s important to look at the entire picture of your relationship and figure out whether the problems you’re having are truly terminal or could still be fixed. Be honest with yourself, and don’t choose the easier, less stressful path — it’s important that any decision you make is authentic to who you are and what you truly want for yourself.
- Consider the sacrifices you would have to make
Ending a relationship can mean an upheaval in your life and your schedule. Have you thought about the sacrifices you may have to make if you decide to part ways? Will you have to find a new place to live? Call off any future events or plans? Or will you have to process the loss of the life you had imagined with your partner?
- Talk to a friend or mentor
If you’ve already discussed the situation with your partner and don’t feel like you’re making any headway, consider talking to a trusted friend or mentor — someone with your best interest at heart. Sometimes a third opinion can provide a valuable perspective when you’re too close to the situation to see the signs.
- Find activities that make you feel alive
There’s something freeing when you’re trying something new, or find yourself absorbed in an activity. Take time to rediscover yourself — get active and find a creative outlet that’s just for you— and pay attention to how your body reacts. The most telling sign that you’re ready to move on will come from within.
It’s never an easy decision to make, but if you think that you might be inching closer and closer to the end of your relationship, there are warning signs to look out for. By taking the time to be honest with yourself and your partner and to tap into your inner wisdom, you can determine the best path for you. Good luck!
